


Sentiment Parental

by Rainah (RainahFiclets)



Series: A Part For You Too [2]
Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Angst, M/M, Parental Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-01
Updated: 2016-04-01
Packaged: 2018-05-30 10:14:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,089
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6419770
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainahFiclets/pseuds/Rainah
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex and John's relationship is going great: they've been together almost two years. They've moved in together. They're happy. Until Alex stumbles on some emails and finds out about something he hadn't ever considered:</p><p>John Laurens' three year old daughter.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sentiment Parental

_To: John_  
_John, Can I borrow your laptop while you're in class?_

_To: Alex_  
_go ahead dont wrek it_

_To: John_  
_I wouldn't even think of it. :p_

_To: John_  
_Thank you <3<3 America thanks you_

_To: Alex_  
_oh my god_

_To: Alex_  
_pw is RhyoneRiver1 hav fun_

Alex grinned, reaching over to grab the laptop off his lover's desk and pull it onto his lap. _Yes_. They were sharing passwords now. He marked that down as another milestone in their relationship. Two years in, and after some minor bumps they were still doing well. Especially when he could come home to John in their apartment every night.

It was so easy to enjoy this, to settle into their life together. To see himself living like this for a long, long time. Alex hummed. That wasn't a thought he'd shared with John, not yet, but it was certainly on his mind.

He flipped through the news idly, got on twitter, and then pulled up email. John had forgotten to sign out. That made sense, he couldn't have known this morning that Alex's laptop was going to die. He was about to press the _log out_ on John's account when the top email caught his eye.

_RE: Frances Laurens_

Wasn't John's sister named Mary? Shoot, it _was_ Mary, wasn't it? Otherwise the birthday card he's sent off to South Carolina was going to go down very differently than he'd hoped. He could always say it was a joke, a mistake, if he called and apologised right now-

He clicked on the email, just to be sure. It could have been an aunt or something.

It wasn't an aunt.

_RE: Frances Laurens_  
_TO: MsMManning@hotmail.com_  
_FROM: John.Laurens@Columbia.cmail.com_

_Child support is sent. If you need anything else this month for her let me know. She looks great._

_J Laurens_

Child support. His brain fumbled for an explanation, any explanation. He had known John for almost three years now, they had been _dating_ for nearly two. It had to be something else. Something about his sister, it had to be. John loved his sister Mary - his sister _Frances_ , clearly - and Alex knew he'd do anything for her. He scrolled down, to the email John had been responding to.

_RE: Frances Laurens_  
_TO: John.Laurens@columbia.cmail.com_  
_FROM: MsMManning@hotmail.com_

_Haven’t gotten child support yet - is it coming? I need to pay for her preschool. Won’t you come visit her this summer? I don’t want her to grow up without her dad._

_Frances is doing well, she looks a lot like you I think. She talks and runs and loves to play ball. She’s an angel, and I would love for you to meet her._

_Martha_

There was a picture attached. Alex opened it with trembling hands, looking at a picture of a small girl who was very clearly his boyfriend’s daughter. Her hair, though cropped above her shoulders, was the same colour and texture of John’s curls. Her face was the same shape, though she looked into the camera with a stranger’s blue eyes.

Alex left the laptop on John’s bed. Plugged it in so it wouldn't run out of battery. Left the email account open, the photo of Frances Laurens up on the screen.

Not John’s sister. John’s daughter.

And then he left, letting the door slam behind him.

 _To: Alex_  
_please come back_

_To: Alex_  
_I can explain_

_To: Alex_  
_Ive made some mistakes you know that please let me explain_

_To: Alex_  
_I can’t lose you_

When Alex came back to the apartment, John was pacing. He looked like hell. Stray curls were escaping his ponytail, falling around his face and red-rimmed eyes. He'd been crying. _Good._

 _Why didn’t you tell me?_ “Who is she?” He asked instead.

The answer was heavy, like the words had stuck in John’s throat. “Frances Eleanor Manning Laurens.” A pause. “My daughter.”

 _Why didn’t you tell me?_ “How?” He asked instead. Because he remembers John, in the first few weeks of their acquaintance, telling him that he was very, very gay.

John flushed. “I was drunk. Very drunk. I’d just passed my finals, I was accepted to Columbia…. I guess some part of me thought I could be straight too. Or at least bi.”

_Why didn’t you tell me?_

John looked down. “It was only once.” He said softly. “We decided it was better this way. We were never going to be a family, and I was moving back to America, and- god, Alex, we were only eighteen. We didn’t know what we were doing.”

_I turned eighteen in a warzone._ But he didn’t say that either. He said, “I can’t believe you didn’t tell me.” 

John threw his hands up. “Like you don’t keep secrets!” He grabbed Alex’s arm and twisted it, exposing the jagged scar there. “You want to tell me about this? You want to tell me about Afghanistan? Your parents? You want to tell me every detail of _your_ life?” 

“It’s not the same!” Alex snarled, jerking his arm away. “You have a child, John. We’ve been dating two years and I didn’t even know you’re a father.” 

“I’m not a father,” John turned away. “Not in any way that counts. I haven’t even met her.” 

“What?” 

“We decided it was best. They live in London, I live here, it’s easier if she doesn’t know me” 

“Your- your child’s _mother_ doesn’t seem to think so,” He gestured sharply at the laptop. 

John looked pained, “Martha… we agreed it was better like this. Frances will have every need attended to, she’ll have every opportunity in life. She’ll be happier living with Martha, I know that, and she’ll have a blessed life.” 

What was a blessed life against having both parents? It wasn’t as if Alex could say either way, he’d had neither. Maybe Frances wasn’t missing her father at all. Maybe she was happy with her life, didn’t spend her evenings wondering if John knew about her, was proud of her, wanted to be in her life.... 

“Are we ok?” John asked, voice small. 

Alex coughed. “Yeah. I just…. Need to think about this. I’ll see you tomorrow, ok?” 

“Sure.” John tried to smile. He leaned over and for a second Alex thought he was going in for a kiss. But he seemed to think better of it and just squeezed his Alex's hand. 

_We're going to be ok. We're going to be ok. We have to be._

_Why didn't you tell me?_

**Author's Note:**

> There's a bunch of really good fics about John raising Frances and they're adorable and so great. I wanted to look at kind of the opposite reaction: John, 18 and not very emotionally mature, throwing money at his problems and running away. 
> 
> This is part of a bigger 'verse that ends with Elams raising a large brood of children - including Frances, who comes to live with them after Martha dies. Er, other extra info - Alex did several years in the military to pay for school (among other reasons), he is 23 to John's 21 here.
> 
> pst the Rhyone River is where the turtle gods live in asoiaf.....


End file.
